What PRIDE means to me!

I am more proud of the Rainbow Pride in Thailand and Japan than I am here in America because my two native home countries have zero hate, discrimination, and violence towards transgender individuals compared to America, where the killings, murders, and harm towards transgender people are off the f*cking charts! The Rainbow Pride in Thailand and Japan are much more fundamental, safe, and free. You hear, see, and feel the voices of LGBTQ individuals through the parade. No one is drinking booze, getting drunk, doing drugs, selling themselves out, or treating the LGBTQ Rainbow Pride or movement like its a college frat sorority party. ​

Some very good news from Japan. The Japanese government and law makers are pushing a bill and enacting a law to better understand in the efforts to support, protect, and acknowledge the lives of LGBTQ individuals in Japan. This includes possibly honoring transgender people to utilize the public restrooms in which they identify, possibly honoring gay marriage, stopping the sterilization of transgender individuals so they can have their gender marker changed without having to undergo transgender surgeries to change their gender on their birth certificates. This is a general and hopeful outlook of the understanding bill and changes in the near future for LGBTQ in Japan. For this, I am very proud of Japan for making the changes and creating a brighter, safer, and thriving future for LGBTQ living in Japan.

NHK News Japan - Japan's Diet enacts LGBT understanding bill 

As a transgender person of color. I really can't believe that the SF LGBTQ community and SF LGBTQ allies are celebrating a movement by getting drunk and turning our LGBTQ rights movement into college drama, making it a trend, and a spectacle scene. That was what PRIDE was never about! I can't be that transgender person at a sh*t-show parade while one my trans brothers and sisters are being killed senselessly every f*cking year here in America. Transgender people of color are still fighting for our rights and everyone wants to go party while demeaning a movement lead by transgender people? What a joke! The SF Transgender Community held our Transgender Parade march to protest and have our voices heard. Today, instead of participating in the SF Pride parade, aka the LGBTQ and ally-priveleged sh*t-show, my husband I, are spending our LGBTQ Pride by holding a vigil for all the transgender people who have been killed this year by transgender hate, discrimination, and violence while raising awareness on transgender suicide. It's insane how people think that Pride is about being proud to the point of ignorance and arrogance. While having a sense of pride is a part of it, people forget that it is mostly a LGBTQ human rights movement! And the group that has to defend their rights the most are transgender people!

Another thing, all the corporations you see displayed on those fences, exploit the LGBTQ community, for example, FedEx Corporation (among the many), has been using LGBTQ movement and funding money to anti-LGBTQ politicians, and all those LGBTQ flags that people are buying go to the same funding to anti-LGBTQ politicians. You no longer see LGBTQ non-profit organizations at an SF Pride parade and any LGBTQ identified individual who put PRIDE movement in action to voice themselves out to the injustice within our community gets shut down, for having a voice, and PRIDE is an acronym that stands for LGBTQ Personal Rights In Defense & Education, it is a human rights movement, former STAR (Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries) movement in New York City after the Stonewall Riots, it was a movement created and lead by Sylvia and Marsha, that's two transwomen of color. Have people forgotten that? It must be really easy to ride this movement from their coat tails, isn't it? So the youths that got arrested and then shamed for practicing their Personal Rights In Defense & Education were shut down. This makes SF Pride such an oxy moron because it's corrupted and run by big corporations. Since when did the SF LGBTQ community sold themselves out to big corporations? Why aren't the real underprivileged LBGTQ voices being heard? And this is no wonder that non-profit organizations who are doing the big work hardly can get anywhere or do much for our own communities because big corporations are exploiting our movement. They could easily assist housing transgender runaways or homeless crisis and assist with employment for transgender individuals facing discrimination but they are using those funding to get politicians to enact anti-LGBTQ laws against us so that we keep having to fight for our rights, so they can create these fake pro-LGBTQ donations, and continue to exploit the sufferings of transgender people. My non-profit, Trans-Cis Alliance Coalition, have been doing research on this here in America for some time. What is insane is that, unless you are more priveleged or have a big following, it is a challenge to shine the truth on this huge scandal.

Let's not forget what Sylvia had to say to the Lesbian, Gay, Bi and straight ally communities who were much more priveleged treating the movement like a college frat party. I can't believed the lesbians and gays booed her while she's fighting for hers and their human rights. 

SF Pride is not my movement. It's extremely corrupted. I would not go near, invest, fund, or take part of SF Pride in any way, shape, or form. Instead, I'm spending my LGBTQ Pride by holding a memorial for all the transgender lives that were lost, while honoring and reminiscing my own low and high moments of my transgender journey.

So here is one of them.
**Trigger warning content***

I'm going to be very real. When my partner introduced me to this song 8 years ago, a time when I was attempting and committing suicidal (I had failed twice, those where the darkest moments of my life), while I laid at the ER after a drug overdose, he had made me listen to this song with him as I was recovering from my second and final attempt, it made me cry my heart and soul out. This song still makes me cry. The lyrics is just everything!

This song literally advocates my journey, my experiences, the struggles and the adversity I have to face in the world...and the once self-hatred I had for myself because I felt no one loved me for me but in my enlightened moments, I had recovered from my overdose, and I woke up and I realized that there are people who do love me, my partner, eventually my parents who have both come to love me, and after a few more years of moving on, I begun to love me (self-care = self-love) and I healed me. I exist now to share this experience with you and empower LGBTQ youths.

This was my fight song during my gender transition too. If you don't know this song, please listen to it and share it to an LGBTQ friend that needs empowerment especially one who is facing anxiety, depression, or attempting to take their own life.

"Plagued by pain in their heart, a world so hateful, someone rather die than be who they are...",
yes, these were my feelings for a very long time.
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